Parents and Children… and Surgery

Getting the news that you or your child needs surgery can be a scary thing for both parents and children.  Although adults understand that the surgery is a necessary procedure, kids seem to think that there is a high risk either for them to die or for the parent to die.  Follow these help- for-parents tips and positive parenting techniques to help ease your child’s fear about surgery.

Honesty Is the Best Policy

Parents and children need to be honest with each other.  If the parent needs to have a surgical procedure done, tell the child about it.  The child will probably voice his or her fears that you won’t be coming home from the hospital.  Don’t dismiss your child’s fears.  Help-for-parents advisors suggest that the parents and children discuss their fears.  Let the kids know that you’re scared too, but that you are confident that the doctor will have you good as new in no time.

If your child is the one needing surgery, you will need to start by discussing the reasons with him.  Although the doctor probably discussed it with both of you, you will still need to break it down into reasons that he or she can understand.  Again, it is essential that parents and children voice their fears and concerns, but also reassure the child that the doctor will have them healthy very soon. 

Take a Tour

When a child needs to have a surgical procedure done, many doctors will arrange a tour of the hospital for both parents and children.  In the event your doctor didn’t mention this to you, call his office and ask to set up a tour.  Most hospitals are happy to accommodate this.

A nurse will probably lead your child on the hospital tour.  You will probably be shown the pediatric ward, and the nurse usually explains the process of preparing the child for surgery.  Pediatric nurses are really great with kids as they work with and care for them on a daily basis. Once both parents and children take the tour and meet the nurses, some of the fears should be alleviated.  If not, ask the nurse if the hospital offers other help for parents with this problem.

Something to Look Forward to

It often helps if the child has something really fun to look forward to after the surgery.  This doesn’t have to be anything expensive, but it should be something that will excite the child.  A special toy, video game or trip that they’ve been wanting should do the trick.  This positive parenting trick should work wonders. 

Many parents and children who need to deal with surgery plan to have a party after the child is well again.  This can be an inexpensive way to celebrate his good health, and will get the child excited.  Be sure to allow him or her to help make the plans for the party.  He/she should be allowed to come up with the theme, but both parents and children can invite friends.  Your child will be really excited about getting the surgery over with so he/she can have that special party.

Alleviate the Anxiety

There are times when both parents and children still have fears and anxiety about the surgery. There are social workers at the hospital who provide help for parents with these problems. Usually, the social worker will sit down with the parents and children to discuss their fears. Because they are experienced counselors, they will be able to calm your nerves and help you all to feel more comfortable.   

Parents and Children, and Living within Budgets

Most people are hurting financially because the economy is so poor these days.  People are cutting back on extras and entertainment, and have even had to cut back on other things.  Living on a budget is hard enough, but when you throw children into the mix it can be downright difficult.  These parenting tips can help parents and children live harmoniously and healthfully, even on a tight budget.

Cut Out the Fat

Most families spend money on unnecessary items at the grocery store.  You can save money on spontaneous buys simply by making a grocery list.  Check out the sales circulars and plan your meals in advance.  Knowing what you will cook for the week will help you in making your list.

Both parents and children should be involved in the meal planning.  This can be made into a game.  Let the children look at the sales papers and find an inexpensive meal for the week.  The kids will be pleased if they found a great deal, and he or she will be proud when the meal is served in the home.  When parents and children work together for a specific goal, it greatly strengthens the child-parent relationship.

Ban the Beggars

It is doubtful that there is a person around who has not been in a supermarket and experienced the shrieks of “But Mommy, PLEASE – I want it”.  It is not only annoying to the customers, but also embarrassing to the parent.  This behavior is never acceptable, and certainly should not be rewarded.

Parents and children should sit down and talk about what the rules are while out shopping.  Explain that you expect good behavior.  It’s alright to tell the kids that if they behave properly while shopping, they can get a treat after the shopping is finished.  The kids should also be aware of the consequences for inappropriate behavior.  Remember, child discipline is necessary for bad behavior, while offering a reward for good behavior.

Go Easy on the Electric

One of the easiest ways to save money is on electricity.  Both parents and children can do this with little effort.  There are numerous ways to cut down on electricity that can be fun for both parents and children.

Many budget-conscious families enjoy having an electric free Saturday.  This is easy to do and really a lot of fun.  The only real rule is that nothing that uses electricity can be used for the whole day.  This opens up a world of great activities that parents and children would rarely try.

A lot of Dad’s love barbequing, so only cook meals on the grill.  It’ll be lots of fun for the kids to see Dad getting all three meals cooked on the grill.  Snacks such as s’mores and toasted marshmallows can be made on the grill too.  Most parents and children think food on the grill is awesome. 

During the day, you can play board games, have races or just talk.  These things will all improve the child-parent relationship.  You can even go for a walk or plant a garden, as long as nothing the parents and children do requires electricity.

At night, you can play flashlight tag, hide-and-seek or simply tell stories by the glow of candles.  This old-fashioned way of having fun will not only save money, but also makes the child-parent relationship stronger.

As with everything, you may want to have a penalty for using electricity.  Even though an electricity-free Saturday is fun, you may want to resort to child discipline for violations of electric use.  Many parents feel that using child discipline during a fun outing will harm the child-parent relationship.  This is not true.  It simply shows the child that rules must always be followed, and there will always be consequences for violating the rules.